Jimmy Durante's Quotes

1 Why can't everybody leave everybody else the hell alone?
2 Be awful nice to 'em goin' up, because you're gonna meet 'em all comin' down.
3 Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.
4 My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
5 I like to make people laugh. Dey like me. What more could I want?
6 Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
7 I hate music, especially when it's played.
8 [ad-libbing with Bob Hope ] When it comes to noses, you're a retailer. I'm a wholesaler!
9 [on his funny looks as a child] I'd go home [from school] and cry. I made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. I never made jokes about anybody's big ears, crossed eyes, or their stuttering.
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